“I felt so full of love for everything. But at the same time, I felt so hung out to dry there, like nobody could ever understand. I felt so alone in this world, and so loved at the same time.” Bernadette Fox is an aspiring architect. Getting the McArthur scholarship put her on the A-list of architects. Creating the 20-mile house got her not only the scholarship but national recognition and fame. She created the house with materials she could find in the 20-mile radius. Everyone thought she was crazy but she did not mind getting her hands dirty or getting the job done herself. She wasn't pretentious and that is what differ her from the other architects. Building her dream house and finding the love of her life meant that her life was falling into place. But, the universe had different plans for her. It felt like her life was falling apart because her life work got destroyed. Moving away from LA did not bring her the peace she hoped for. Her anxiety culminated to the point where she could not sleep or be outside. Things did not get easier with all the miscarriages. It felt like the universe was plotting against her, like it did not want her to be happy. After what it felt like an eternity, Bee was born. Bernadette did not get better even after all those years and the constant judgement of society did not help with the recovery process. With years she got even worse and her husband was deeply worried about her. One day she just disappeared. Where was she off to? Did she just want a break from everything? Was she on a journey to find herself again? Will she ever go back to architecture and unite with her family? I watched the movie starring Cate Blanchett a few years ago. I was just so blown away with the "finding yourself" journey Bernadette was on that I wanted to get hold of the book. After a few years of searching I finally found it. I loved it as I did the movie but the writing style wasn't exactly my piece of cake. Throughtout the book, most of it was covered in e-mails and I don't like that style of writing. The same style can be found in "Love, Rosie" and that is why the movie was better than the book for me. I also loved that some parts were left out in the movie because they were truly unnecessary. Bernadette was crushed after her failed project and I feel like a lot of people can resonate with that. Everyone is afraid of failure and a part of growing up is learning how to accept it and move forward. Life cannot move according to your plan and not everything is going to happen exactly the way you pictured it. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose and it's okay. What matters is that you pick yourself up and start again. Bernadette was so shattered that she stopped creating, the one thing that brought her joy. She did not want to feel like that ever again so she hid herself from the world and drowned in her own thoughts. After many years she finally found her way back. Sometimes all it takes is an unexpected journey, with unexpected people to find your purpose again.
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September 2023
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